The summer might be winding down, but wedding season is a year-round affair. Plenty of folks get married in the fall or winter, which means you’ll probably have an invitation or two coming your way. But with all the etiquette rules that come with weddings, what do you do if you get an invite with no plus-one? If you’re looking for guidelines on how to ask for a plus-one at a wedding, you’ve come to the right place. According to an expert, whether or not you should ask and how to do it right really depend on the situation, but it’s always smart to be polite and play it safe where weddings are concerned.
"I would not recommend asking for a plus-one to a wedding," Céline Sauvet, certified dating coach, tells Elite Daily. "Usually, when a relationship is a committed one (together for years, or engaged or married or having kids), people will invite the couple." Still, that doesn’t mean you’ll automatically get a plus-one, no matter how long you and your partner have been together — especially if the couple getting married has never met your partner before.
Before you jump to conclusions (no, the couple probably doesn’t hate your partner) Sauvet says it’s important to remember that weddings are expensive, and the couple might be working with a tight budget. A wedding isn’t like a birthday party, where you can shoot the bride a text saying, "Hey, mind if I bring [insert partner’s name here]?"
"You have to consider that having guests has a cost, and the hosts may want to spend money on people they know and have really connected with over time," she says. Nevertheless, if you feel like your bae has been jipped and you think they deserve to be there, Sauvet has some tips on how to ask.
No matter what your relationship status is, before asking for a plus-one, Sauvet says it’s important to consider your relationship with the people getting married. "It depends on your connection to the couple, if it’s family, close friends, or acquaintances," she says. "In all cases, I think that honesty is always a good idea and prevents building unnecessary toxic feelings such as resentment." Honesty is the best policy, and if you think you should have gotten a plus-one, try being as clear as possible with the couple.
"If you really feel frustrated that your partner has not been invited, express the facts (‘I thought I would come with…’) and wait for an answer," Sauvet recommends. "Having a really respectful and kind conversation will bring clarity."
That said, just because you ask for a plus-one doesn’t mean you’ll automatically get one. "Show compassion and do not expect people changing their mind because you have expressed that you would like to come with your partner," Sauvet adds.
Lastly, know that some weddings are small, and sometimes, there’s just no space. Of course, going alone might not be ideal, but it’s still an honor to be invited in the first place. "I know it may be hard, but do not take this too personally," Sauvet says. "Couples planning a wedding are often very busy and may have their parents or family involved in the preparations, including guests."
Most important, "Try to concentrate on their joy and be grateful to come celebrate with them," Sauvet says. You get to watch two people celebrate their love in a beautiful way. Plus, everyone knows the singles’ table is always the most fun.
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