DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER years of trying, I now have a boyfriend at the age of 30. It is my first romantic relationship but the sex is not going well.
I was brought up in a strict Bangladeshi family and as a teenager I was not allowed to go out with boys. I left home for uni with no self-confidence and no idea how to date.
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I’ve finally met someone thoughtful and kind. He’s 31 and I really want to have sex with him.
But we have been trying for more than a month and he says I’m too tight and my body is tense.
I’m doing my best but it hurts every time.
DEIDRE SAYS: You must take things slowly.
Put intercourse off the agenda for now while you learn to relax into sexual arousal.
My e-leaflet Sex Too Painful? explains sensate focus exercises to help you get in touch with your body’s responses.
Your boyfriend should read it too because it is crucial he has the right sexual technique.
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