Is there anything more heartbreaking and yet more relatable than unrequited love? Truly, I’d be less shocked if someone hated ice cream than if they told me they’d never experienced being in unrequited love. From the boy I crushed on in second grade (why did he pull my hair? I spent hours brushing it) to the person who sat two seats ahead of me in my freshman year Anthropology class but never looked in my direction (possibly because I was too nervous to move closer), unrequited love is a part of who I am. Love Actually was right: love is all around, it’s just not always reciprocated. If the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back is affecting you right now, you’re far from alone.
To ease the pangs of unrequited love, you can be kind to yourself. Daily affirmations will help you realize that you deserve more than to long for someone who wants something else. It’s never your fault if someone isn’t interested in you in a romantic or sexual capacity, but it can be hard to remember that, so tape these affirmations to your mirror (or put them on a note in your smartphone — it’s 2019) to remind yourself every morning how special you are.
Read on to find eight positive affirmations that can help you work through unrequited love.
1. You Deserve To Be Loved
You know it, but you might forget it sometimes. You are as deserving of love as anything else, even the person who you’re feeling unrequited love for. Remind yourself of every reason you have to be loved, and you’ll remember that you deserve someone who loves you back.
2. The Right Person Will Notice You
It can be hard to keep this in mind when you’re focused on someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Still, someone perfect is out there for you, so if your crush right now doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, that’s a good sign that they’re not the right person for you.
3. They Are Built Up In Your Head
I’m not saying the object of your unrequited love isn’t wonderful — maybe they are. But maybe in the time you’ve spent fantasizing about them, you’ve built them up in your head, and they’re not actually the super-human life-giving force you think they are. And then again, maybe they are, in which case, would you want to date a life-giving force? That sounds tiring.
4. It’s Not Your Fault
Someone choosing not to be with you isn’t your fault. It’s probably not theirs, either — it’s just a matter of compatibility. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you’ll find someone who wants to be with you exactly as you are.
5. You Have Love In Your Life
This one person who might not love you back doesn’t represent your whole life. You have love from the people around you, and if you feel lonely, reach out to them. Your friends are there to support you.
6. There Are So Many Wonderful Opportunities Out There
Finding someone to date is really just one of them. If you stop investing time in your unrequited love (and don’t beat yourself up over the time invested already — it’s human), you may find that you’ll find someone or something you’re even more passionate about. Don’t close your mind off to all the wonderful opportunities out there in this world because of your unrequited love.
7. You’ll Grow From This
Unrequited love can be painful, but you can grow from the experience. You’ve learned something about yourself and what you need from another person. Moving through heartbreak teaches you about yourself, and you can take that knowledge into your next relationship (or whatever comes next in your life).
8. It’s OK To Be Sad
On top of dealing with the unrequited love, you don’t have to add the extra pain of feeling guilty about being in unrequited love. Sadness is a part of life, and if you’re sad about your unrequited love, know that you’re completely normal. Don’t brush over your feelings or deny them — just know that feelings will pass, and better things lie ahead.
Unrequited love is no fun. For me personally, it just doesn’t seem fair or logical that anyone would ever not love me back, and yet, against the odds, it’s happened (about once every six months, if my diary is correct). There’s nothing wrong with you for being in unrequited love, and these eight affirmations will help you realize how amazing you are.
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