A WOMAN has revealed her heartbreak after her husband revealed he'd had a vasectomy – after a YEAR of trying for a baby.
Ashley*, from Australia, told 9Honey how she met Matthew* aged 31 – when she was working as a temp in his office, following years of travelling in her 20s.
Six months later, he invited her out for a coffee – which turned into a lunch and plans for dinner the next evening.
Within months, Matthew was proposing on a beach during a romantic holiday.
"I remember, vividly, the morning after he asked me (to marry him)," Ashley says. "He asked me about kids and I said, 'if it happens, it happens. I'll leave that up to fate, but I would be happy either way'."
But after for years of marriage, Ashley's opinion shifted. Many of her kids had babies and she realised she desperately wanted one of her own.
When she opened up to her husband, Ashley was surprised he seemed "so shocked" and "angry" but weeks later, Matthew agreed to "give it a go".
A YEAR OF TRYING
Ashley was delighted, but six months later they realised it wasn't going to be easy and life started revolving around ovulation tests and medical appointments.
"I'd always assumed it would just happen for me when I wanted it," admits Ashley. "I had a doctor's appointment and had tests and they couldn't find anything wrong."
And when her doctor suggested getting Matthew in for tests too, their relationship began to unravel.
Three weeks later, the night before their appointment, Matthew finally revealed the truth.
His ex-wife didn't want kids, so he'd had a vasectomy in his mid-20s.
She says: "It felt like he was speaking another language. I couldn't understand what he was saying. We had been trying for a baby for a full year, with him knowing full well that it was impossible."
We had been trying for a baby for a full year, with him knowing full well that it was impossible
Matthew argued Ashley's "whatever will be, will be" attitude meant he thought she wouldn't be fussed – but says she "felt like a crime had happened" and argued getting an op wasn't "leaving it up to fate".
She ended the six-year relationship but, six months on, is still struggling to come to terms with the betrayal.
"I went from being someone with the fairytale life, trying for a baby with my husband. Now I'm back to square one, she says.
"I was trying everything, and he knew it… I always thought it was my body betraying me.
"I never thought of the possibility it was something wrong on his end. I gave myself a hard time, I directed all that anger at my body when the whole time, that should have been towards him."
*Ashley and Matthew are not their real names
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