A wedding is one of the happiest days in a person’s life.
Surrounded by family and friends, you commit to your loved one in a room filled with joy, laughter and affection.
It sounds simple, but weddings are quite often complicated and expensive affairs. From dresses to food to flowers to beverages, the cost quickly adds up.
But in 2022, do parents still pay for the weddings of their beloved sons and daughters?
Or is the notion outdated, unfair and impossible?
Wedding planner and celebrant Amanda Wheal says it is becoming less of a tradition.
‘It is most certainly not as common as it used to be,’ she says. ‘There are both financial and social reasons for this.
‘Although the average cost of a wedding in the UK is around £25,000 to £30,000, this is purely an average and many couples spend less than that.
‘The amount of time from engagement to wedding day for a high percentage of couples is between 13 to 24 months and this is because they need time to plan and most importantly time to save up for the wedding. It’s now estimated that 50% of couples are responsible for 80% of their wedding costs.’
Expectations around paying for weddings
Amanda notes that many couples do hope their parents or families will contribute to the cost in some way.
‘With some there is an expectation but there’s no obligation that it should be financial,’ she explains. ‘I’m sure many couples would hope for some financial assistance but it doesn’t have to be that way.’
Approaching the matter can be awkward but Amanda urges couples not to automatically assume parents will help with costs.
‘It would be nice to think that once the engagement is announced the parents would immediately offer to help out financially, and in some cases this happens,’ she says.
‘If it doesn’t happen, couples shouldn’t automatically assume parents will help and they shouldn’t assume that they won’t either. In the early days of wedding planning and even further down the line nobody wants to offend or upset anybody and this can sometimes make the simplest of things very complicated.’
Amanda advises that couples should thoroughly research their wedding plans, stay within budget and only choose what they can afford.
‘Plan and choose where you want to spend and where you don’t,’ she suggests.
How to ask your parents to contribute to your wedding
If you plan on asking your parents for assistance with a wedding, communication is key.
‘Communication needs to be honest so there are no misunderstandings,’ she says.
‘It’s suggested couples should ask if the parents would like to contribute to the costs in a general sense, this gives parents more options so they might offer a certain amount, or a percentage of the costs. They may need more time to think about it or in some cases might offer to lend you the money.’
However, Amanda also says to consider your parents financial situation. It is unfair to think that they would contribute if financially they are under pressure.
Wedding planner Liz Taylor agrees and says there are many other ways in which family can help.
‘Perhaps they could offer to organise one part of the day,’ she says. ‘If mum is a fabulous baker, she can produce the wedding cake. An aunt or uncle may be able to help with floral arrangements. So the contribution does not always have to be cash.
‘Instead it can be kindness.’
She also says that couples need to be clear with their family from the start but the important thing is to keep them involved.
‘Explain what the wedding plans are – your dream day – and ask if they can support you with any of it,’ she explains.
‘Now, that doesn’t mean that they should bankroll the entire day but it is an opportunity to contribute what they can and how they can.
‘If they are unable, find a way for them to help with the planning, from choosing the dress to the food.
‘Just make sure to keep them a key part of the day regardless.’
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Source: Read Full Article
