The world knows Lil Nas X as a musical star. His viral hits keep his global audience addicted to his songs, and almost everyone recognizes his name. He’s risen to fame at a relatively fast pace, and at the tender age of just 21, he has amassed an impressive net worth of $7 million. The world, quite simply, wants more.
Lil Nas X has been unapologetically true to himself, and has lent his voice to the LGBTQ+ community with courage, and tenacity towards cultivating change. That of course, didn’t come easily, nor did it come without its fair share of controversy. As the International News reports, this young man has seen and done way more than most people his age, and the world remains open and ready for more of his influence. He’s been through depression, confusion, and financial struggles, and continues to battle old demons while basking in the success of his current celebrity status. Welcome to the journey of Lil Nas X.
Struggling With Acceptance
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Lil Nas X made peace with identifying as a gay man, but he wasn’t quite ready to share his news with the world. In fact, it wasn’t until he was 17 years old that he was ready to tell those around what he had always known. When he rose to superstardom, he kept his sexual orientation to himself until he felt it was the right time to share his story.
Struggling with his identity and never fully grasping how it would affect the other aspects of his life, Lil Nas X began to experience depressive thoughts and tendencies which continued to haunt him.
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Emotional Turmoil
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The emotional turmoil of his secret weighed heavily on him. Recounting his tumultuous emotions as a young teen, Lil Nas X revealed to The International News that he really became aware of his emotional shift during his first year in college, in 2017. He began to realize that he was slipping into a depressive state and felt the pressure of being the first in his family to be accepted to college. He felt he had to stick it through, but wasn’t coping well during that time.
He found it difficult to make friends, and often preferred solitude over being in the company of others. He became aware that he was not able to keep his emotional and mental well being completely balanced, and just as he began struggling to grasp his own state of mind, the news came in that his beloved grandmother had passed away.
Visits to his doctor revealed that he was struggling with hypochondria; the fear of dying.
Fearing death became an all-encompassing state of mind, and eventually, Lil Nas X dropped out of college and moved in with his sister, which truly made him feel a level of happiness that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Finding Music
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During his stay with his sister, Lil Nas X experienced more mental and emotional freedom, and began to work on making music. For the first time in a while he was able to say he was truly happy.
Sadly, this arrangement was short-lived, and when he moved in with one of his brothers, he witnessed daily domestic violence, which presented more emotional and mental instability.
He threw himself into his music, and in December of 2018 he released Old Town Road, but didn’t have enough financial stability to properly promote the song. He kept at it and put his all into his self-promotion, eventually getting the song onto the Apple Country Charts. Agents began to contact him, but were only interested in the song, not a long-term contract with him as an artist.
Lil Nas X got his big break with the TikTok Yeehaw Challenge emerged. At that point, Columbia Records tuned in, and by March of 2019 he proudly signed his first official record deal. In April of that same year, Billy Ray Cyrus joined in to do the official remix with Lill Nas X, and his TikTok story reveals his reaction as being; “It took me places I never thought I could go.”
The money poured in, and he was able to live differently, and with greater financial ease. However, the instant fame left him smoking heavily, and facing greater anxiety.
Old Town Road debuted on the Billboard Country Charts, but was later controversially removed, citing it didn’t have all the “necessary elements” of country music.
Controlling His Own Narrative
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Huffpost reveals that for Lil Nas X, financial success and fame were fabulous, but they certainly didn’t eliminate his anxiety, or the tugging effect of not being true to his own self. He revealed that as a child, he hoped being gay was just a “phase” that he could somehow shake off, but now that he had reached this level of fame, he decided to muster up the strength to control his own narrative, and use his platform to empower those in the LGBTQ community.
He revealed that; “that as a celebrity, he has protections other people don’t have,” and pointed out that young boys in the hood didn’t have it easy and couldn’t come out in the same manner that he was able to.
In June of 2019 he came out to his fans, causing him to gain a few more, and lose plenty. His journey became more defined, and he became more outwardly tenacious about his decision. Behind the scenes, however, his personal life was falling apart. He had broken up with his boyfriend, his mother was struggling in rehab.
According to Them, while he was still reaping the benefits of the continued success of Old Town Road, the rapper admits that, personally, he was ‘spiraling.’ At one point, he was even ‘in a hotel contemplating ending it all.'”
These days, Lil Nas X continues to be unapologetically true to himself. He represented Nike’s Satan Shoes in a recent ad, and continues to ride the wave of his success, while simultaneously using his platform to give a fresh, honest voice to the LGBTQ+ community.
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Sources: Them, Huffpost, International News
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