DEAR DEIDRE: TWO condoms have gone missing from my girlfriend’s bathroom cabinet. They weren’t used by me.
I moved into her place six months ago. I thought her having condoms was odd, as we don’t use them.
After we’d had a couple of drinks recently, I asked her: “Have you ever fancied anyone at work?”
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“Yes,” she said. “I still have flings but it doesn’t mean anything. All I know is I have a f****** good time.”
I asked if our relationship was more about companionship. She answered: “Yes, I have that with you. These other guys mean nothing.”
She then said: “You’ve gone quiet. What’s wrong?” Perhaps these other guys mean nothing to her, but it hurts.
DEIDRE SAYS: You deserve better. You want a committed relationship yet she is sleeping with other people.
She is jeopardising her own sexual health as well as yours.
She has low self-esteem and mistakes sex for love. If she is from a cold family background, any attention feels good, even if it is a brief fling or a quickie with a stranger.
Tell her cheating isn’t acceptable and if it happens again, you will move on.
Good counselling can help her explore why she cheats.
My support pack on Standing Up For Yourself will teach you assertiveness, to help establish clear boundaries around your relationship and to tackle this difficult conversation.
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