DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though we have been together for five years, my partner kept her son’s wedding a secret.
I’m so hurt that I’ve broken up with her, despite loving her deeply.
She is 47, and I’m 54. We don’t live together and she always stays at mine.
In fact, I’ve never met any of her children – or family. They probably don’t even know about me.
This has always bothered me but she says they are difficult and also close to their dad – her ex – so it’s better this way.
It’s made me feel like her dirty little secret.
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Finding out that she had been to his wedding, on a weekend when she claimed to be at a work conference, is the final straw.
I feel betrayed and angry.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner has compart-mentalised her life.
Perhaps she thinks she has protected you from conflict and complication.
Five years is a long time – maybe she thought you had accepted this.
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You clearly still love her, so you need to tell her how upset you are and that you need to become a proper part of her life.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to do this.
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