A 30-year-old woman has shared how she’s been accused by a friend of ‘ruining the surprise’ reveal for their twins, after telling her husband before the party.
However, the woman has been praised for sharing the secret by people online.
Speaking on Reddit and giving context for the story, the 30-year-old explains: ‘[My and my husband] have been married for six and half years and we don’t have any kids. Currently, we are in a friend group with three other couples.
‘There is Couple A, who have two children, and Couples B and C, both of which are currently pregnant.
‘The wife of Couple A always thinks when we visit them we should take care of their children as they need time to relax, and always hands her second kid to me and her first kid to my husband.
‘Couple B was always asking if we were okay after they revealed their pregnancy. They made us feel comfortable and they never talk about pregnancy.
‘When Couple C fell pregnant they shared their pregnancy news when they were six weeks pregnant.’
The post explains that now Couple C are 14 weeks pregnant, they want to have a ‘gender reveal’ at the end of October and surprise guests with the news that they are actually having twins.
Couple C asked the poster to keep it a secret until the party at the end of the month.
However, the the poster decided to tell her 37-year-old husband ahead of the event for a very sensitive reason – due to the fact they’ve experienced multiple miscarriages together, after trying to have children for many years.
As a result, the 30-year-old wanted to emotionally prepare her husband for the ‘surprise’ – so he doesn’t find it triggering.
In the post, she explains that their first miscarriage was in 2017 at 19 weeks. The second was in 2020 with twins at eight weeks and 14 weeks, and the third miscarriage was in March of this year at nine weeks, the day before Couple A’s second son was born.
The poster, who was struggling with the news of her friend’s twins, writes: ‘It hit hard and made me emotional – and I told my husband on the way home that they were having twins as I didn’t want him to get startled at gender reveal day.
‘We were quite devastated on losing our baby on March. We informed all our friends through text that we were miscarrying and we need some time to heal.
‘Around that time Couple B also fell pregnant and they were considerate about our feelings so they didn’t reveal their pregnancy and told us at the end of July. It was hard for us but we were happy for them.
‘Couple A and C have never considered our feelings and only think about theirs.’
However, Couple C have since revealed they aren’t happy the poster shared the news with her husband.
The post continues: ‘Today, I told Couple C that I have told my husband they were having twins and I need to consider his feelings. They were accusing me of ruining their surprise and not considering their feelings.’
With the poster asking Reddit if she’s in the wrong, the internet promptly did its thing, with countless people reassuring her she had every right to tell her husband about the twins.
One person replied: ‘First, I’m so sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you and your husband. I’m not even sure why you’re friends with A and C. They’ve shown a callous disregard for your feelings. Go low contact for a while and enjoy time with B.’
Another agreed, writing: ‘Telling just your spouse is not “ruining” the surprise for anyone but your spouse, and they should know why this wouldn’t necessarily be a happy surprise for him.
‘I honestly think it’s a little callous for either B or C to ask you to be involved in their gender reveals given your experiences. A little flexibility on their part to ensure you and your husband are in the right head space is not too much to ask.’
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