Pinky fingers out, sit up straight, legs crossed at the ankles and napkins on knees. It’s high teatime and Perth’s top hotels are pulling out all the stops to make teatime a luxury affair.
But first … when Anna Maria Russell, Duchess of Bedford, felt peckish in those long hours from luncheon to dinner, little did she know her request to have small sweet and savoury treats brought to her at about 4pm every day would be the genesis of what has become that most English of meals, High Tea.
Afternoon tea, like this one at Bistro Guillaume, is an event.
The Duchess was a pal of Queen Victoria’s and it wasn’t long before the monarch got on board with the refined ceremony of afternoon tea (it was only ever called high tea by the hoi polloi and still is) and once it had the royal seal of approval every Victorian era lady just had to go with the latest fad and partake. It was the early 1840s and thanks to the Duchess, afternoon tea was born.
Fun fact: it was about this time that the Earl of Sandwich put pieces of meat between sliced bread and in doing so invented the, well, sandwich. Which was just in time because when the Duchess of Bedford requested her afternoon tea, the servants – who were clearly on trend – made the exciting new sandwiches and filled them with thinly sliced roast beef or cucumber or smoked salmon, which are still staples on afternoon tea trays to this very day.
And now 180 years later, afternoon tea has not just endured, it’s more popular than ever, especially in luxury Southeast Asian and Chinese hotels where it has become a very chichi pastime for the Crazy Rich Asian crowd and the wealthy generally. In London, people flock from all over the world to enjoy English afternoon teas at Claridge’s, the Savoy, The Ritz and the Dorchester and at royal warranted department stores like Fortnum & Mason and that little shop in Knightsbridge called Harrods.
You could be sipping your Lapsang Souchong next to a loud grandmother from Kansas – “My gawd Harvey, these cookies are so cuuuuute” – or a table of young Chinese tourists wearing knockoff Chanel blazers while they photoshoot the living daylights out of their Battenberg cake like hardened paparazzi.
Perth has not been backward when it comes to afternoon teas and, as in most countries where high tea is a thing, it is mostly the purview of large, luxury hotels, which have the resources and kitchen staff to invest in afternoon tea service.
So, where are the best afternoon teas in Perth? There are a few to choose from. The best in town ranks with the finest in London and it leaves some of them in the dust. It’s the afternoon tea at the Cape Arid room at the Como the Treasury Hotel in the city and it is one of the most curated and creative experiences you’ll have with a cuppa in your hand.
High tea at Cape Arid in Perth is better than some of the most fancy offers in London.
According to Como boss Byron Wright, “it is a culinary escapade to the deep southern Cape Arid National Park, crafted through the exquisite lens of renowned Western Australian artists, Philippa and Alex Nikulinsky, whose works adorn the walls of the tranquil space.”
The culinary adventure is inspired “by the paperbark bushland and time-bleached sands of Seal Creek,” according to Mr Wright. And does it show. The pastries ape the colour palette of Cape Arid’s bushlands, the tiered trays on the cake and savouries stands are made from three different timbers unique to the Cape Arid region and the artists’ stories from their book are intertwined into the recipes for the tasty treats.
Spend a tranquil couple of hours at Cape Arid.
The canape style sweets and savouries, as you might expect, are a vehicle for local producers and ingredients. Without doubt they are the finest afternoon tea canapes on offer in Perth. We were in a constant state of `‘ooh” and “aah” as we nibbled at the treats on the three-tiered stand. Our favourite? Pâte à choux with French Earl Grey custard and bergamot gel. Extraordinary. On the sweet side, caramel macadamia brownie is sublime and on the savoury side, porcini mushrooms with Parmesan sabayon, truffled salt and puffed quinoa was a showcase for the depth and virtuosity of the Como’s master pastry chef, Richard Dormer. They are truly epic. So too the scones, which are baked to order and served just warm enough.
The biggest indulgence however is the quiet and serene nature of the service and décor. If you’re looking for respite from your busy life, the Cape Arid afternoon tea delivers a tranquil couple of hours. When it ends, all too soon, as a parting gift you are handed an exquisitely made and branded ‘show bag’ with satin ribbons, containing house made chocolates which also riff off the Cape Arid story.
It is a remarkable experience and, in our estimation, better than some of the most highly regarded afternoon teas at some of London’s poshest hotels. (We’ve been to a few). Oh, and in case you want to turn teatime into naughty time, the wine and champagne list is next level. The cost for all this majestic hospitality and food is a risible $78 per person.
Next on the list is one of Perth’s favourites, the High Tea at the Westin Hotel. Ask anyone who’s been and a dreamy look comes over their face. Perhaps because it’s held in the alluringly named Haven Lounge at the mega stylish East Perth hotel.
They call their teatime the Garden Spritz High Tea and we’re told it is a partnership with Chandon. We hope what they mean by that is that Krug Clos D’Ambonnay Blanc des Noirs is available. Yes, Moet Chandon also owns Krug, perhaps the finest champagne ever made. Be that as it may, just about anything from the Chandon portfolio is going to make your day much, much happier.
A firm Perth favourite is afternoon tea at the Westin.
Gourmet pecan coconut brownie, citrus scone, hazelnut crumble with Chantilly cream and apricot petite gateaux are some of the sweeties on offer with lemon pepper chicken with roast garlic aioli and salmon tartare with wasabi crème fraiche rounding out the savoury side. Prices start at $65 a head and head anywhere north from there depending on your appetite for cocktails and fizzy wine. Bookings are essential. The Westin is renowned also for its seasonal high teas. The next big one will be their very popular Christmas themed Festive High Tea.
Talk about high tea in Perth and Fleur keeps cropping up. Fleur restaurant, in the bustling Royal Hotel, does not immediately suggest itself as a venue for high tea and yet it is enduringly popular. And with the cheffing chops of Chef de Cuisine Shane Middleton and culinary boss Chase Weber masterminding the tea service, there’s not a lot that can go wrong. These guys are a formidable team with high level skills and imagination.
Called Afternoon Bloom, Fleur’s afternoon tea is only available on Saturdays from 12:30pm with two hour sittings, although if you book ahead you’ll get a three hour slot and there’ll be no stressy moves to shove you out the door.
“We split the menu up into two courses, savoury and sweet,” Middleton said. Think mushroom and truffle arancini, pea tartlet with minted crème fraiche, toasted corn cake with fresh Cambray Cheese curd, finger sandwiches and a smoked salmon chouquette and on the sweet side, lemon and yuzu meringue tartlet, basque cheesecake (that’s the one with the delightfully burnt top) and a dark chocolate cherry cup.
“It’s our interpretation of high tea. It’s not traditional, but it is an experience and a play on the perception of what so called high tea is,” Middleton said.
Afternoon Bloom at Fleur.
“The great thing is it’s not just the baby shower/wedding shower crowd who come to Fleur for tea. We’re booked up every week with guests ranging from 18 to 70, from buddies just catching up to those who are celebrating a milestone moment in their lives.”
Fleur’s teas come from Perth based, Australian owned company ThreeOneSix.
Teatime etiquette
No one wants to make a dill of themselves when they enter the refined world of high tea. Here are a few tips to help you look like a natural.
You should never poke your pinky finger skyward when holding your teacup. Not even ironically. If you do, as they say in London, you are a chav.
When serving jams, cream and chutneys, use the spoon provided to take as much as you need and place in on your plate. From there, transport it to scone or savoury with you own knife. Never dig away at the cream pot or jam jar with your own cutlery. Cringeworthy.
On scones, is it cream first or jam first? This question has been dominating relations between Cornwall and Devonshire for nearly a century. In Devonshire it’s always cream first, topped with jam. The barbarians in Cornwall reverse engineer the accepted method with jam first. There is only one way, the Devonshire way. End of.
Milk or lemon in your tea? It’s up to you of course, but generally speaking, milk goes with big, black leaf teas. But it’s not always the case. Lapsang Souchong tea is a bold, smoky, tannic tea, which should never be partnered with milk or, for that matter, lemon. Rule of thumb: don’t use milk with aromatic light teas like Lady Grey or Jasmine.
Dress up. You’ll feel better about yourself and the staff will treat you better. T-shirts and flip flops are not an option. Ever.
All are large whole leaf teas, 100 per cent organic and free trade.
Afternoon Bloom costs $65 a head and if you want the optional caviar service, take out a mortgage: you’ll be pleased you did. It’s worth it.
Crown Perth is no slouch in the high tea steaks. It’s La Vie bar in the foyer of Crown Metropole is a magnet for young mums and mums-to-be celebrating baby showers, engagements and birthdays. But it’s not all about mums and strollers. Hotel guests of all ages can be seen sipping tea and hoovering canapes in one of the cutest bar spaces in town, which is also one of the great spots to people watch and relax. But it is its daring take on high tea – they call it High Cheese – which makes it a must visit.
As they say at Crown “High Cheese has taken two of France’s great loves, cheese and Champagne, and added a mouth-watering seasonal twist. Start your journey with a four tier stand that celebrates cheese in all its forms – from garlic infused brie baked inside a crunchy cob loaf, melted raclette over roasted potatoes and cured meats and a selection of fine cheeses paired with fruits, quince paste and a honey nut medley.” All very cheesy. Prices start at just $45 per person.
At Bistro Guillaume, the Afternoon Tea Indulgence is everything you might expect from a French Bistro. The sweets especially are magnificent. And, wait for it, it’s just $55 per person. Might we suggest that at these ludicrously cheap prices, you plunder the wine list and spoil yourself with some good French bubbles.
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