IMPRESSIONIST Francine Lewis, 46, on how she reignited her marriage in the wake of her husband’s ‘cheating’ scandal by Gemma Calvert.
"I’ll never forget the moment I got a private Instagram message from a friend of my husband.
It said: “Our partners are sleeping together,” followed by screenshots of messages between them, including one arranging to meet for lunch and a few so suggestive, they sickened me.
At that moment, standing beside Joel, my construction company director husband of 17 years, in our garage at home in Cuffley, Hertfordshire, I froze – then became a woman possessed.
I called him every name under the sun, grabbed my car keys and sped off, crying hysterically as he insisted nothing had happened.
At my mum’s, I removed my wedding and engagement rings and blocked Joel, 44, on my phone and social media.
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He’d been calling non-stop, but I didn’t want to know.
I’d met the woman a few weeks earlier on a couples’ night out – ironically, I remembered her telling me how Joel never stopped talking about me.
I was introduced to my husband through a mutual friend in 2000, when I was 24.
At first, I wasn’t interested – I had just come out of a long relationship and was focused on getting my showbiz career off the ground, doing presenting, acting, and comedy.
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But I soon realised how lovely he was and we started dating.
We married in 2005 and have two children, Brooke, 20, and Jake, 16.
In 2013, I competed on Britain’s Got Talent, making it to the final with my impressions of celebrities, including Stacey Solomon and Sharon Osbourne.
Over the years, friends always told me: “He adores you”, whereas my motto has always been: “Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen.”
When I was four or five, my dad had an affair.
Mum took him back and they tried to make it work, but later divorced – and I vowed to never be hurt in the same way. I certainly never imagined Joel could do that to me.
That afternoon in April this year, I was so sure my marriage was over that I told our children what had happened. They were fuming.
Before returning home that evening ahead of an appearance on GB News the next morning, I communicated via Brooke, who was at home, that I wanted space.
Joel stayed downstairs while I darted to our bedroom, but the following morning Joel was outside the bedroom door, weeping and begging me to talk. I couldn’t even look at him.
While on live telly discussing being defrauded of £90k by a phoney stocks company in 2018, I suddenly blurted out what Joel had done and called him a “cheat”.
I hadn’t planned to go public, but I was so angry. I could have burned his clothes, but that was my revenge. I was in control and it felt great.
I’ll never forget the moment I got a private Instagram message from a friend of my husband. It said: 'Our partners are sleeping together,' followed by screenshots of messages between them.
My only regret was humiliating my children – Brooke later told me how upsetting it all was.
That afternoon, after the story hit the press, my son and I disappeared for a couple of nights to a spa hotel, and Brooke made Joel – who was still denying anything had happened – call the other woman in front of her to see what she had to say about it.
Brooke later told me she said: “I don’t know what this is all about. Nothing happened. It was a few stupid messages,” which suggested there hadn’t been a physical affair.
However, there had still been intent and that, for me, was cheating and enough for me to say: “I no longer want to be married to you.”
While I was away, Joel moved into his mum’s house in Essex, where he remained for around six weeks, occasionally returning when I spent a night at my cousin’s.
When I came home the first time, the house was full of balloons and heart-shaped Post-it notes.
A few days later, I returned to a house full of flowers. I could see he was trying, so I texted him to say thank you, then panicked, thinking he’d misinterpret my gratitude for forgiveness.
I felt mixed emotions again when, a few days later, we spoke on the phone for the first time.
One minute I’d be OK, then angry, then sad and crying.
But we had the best conversation in years – this was the first time we’d spoken openly in a long time.
While on live telly discussing being defrauded of £90k by a phoney stocks company in 2018, I suddenly blurted out what Joel had done and called him a 'cheat'.
Joel told me he never really felt that I loved him like he loves me.
I realised I’d had my guard up, and we both admitted we’d become complacent. Like many married couples, we’d stopped trying.
I’d not seen Joel for eight days when we met up at a London hotel.
He’d lost weight from the worry, and when we hugged, he cried into my neck. In that moment, I realised how much I still loved him.
He said how sorry he was, how stupid the mistake was, how it meant nothing and that he’d lost everything from one moment of madness.
When he suggested marriage counselling, I agreed. I didn’t want to be with him or live with him yet, but I knew our marriage was worth fighting for.
When we began our six sessions of couples’ therapy in early May, I acknowledged our relationship hadn’t been as perfect as I’d tried to pretend. I’d always put our kids before Joel.
He would go to bed and I’d be in the kids’ rooms, chatting to them.
We watched TV in different rooms and wouldn’t always have dinner together.
Looking back, I can see that Joel had been fighting for my attention and that he felt lonely.
My only regret was humiliating my children – Brooke later told me how upsetting it all was.
Although we’ve always had a healthy love life, sex probably wasn’t as frequent as Joel would have liked.
But while living apart, we started dating – something he initiated – and one time before going for dinner and a West End show, we had the best sex we’ve ever had.
I cried! It felt like I was with a new man.
That’s when I started falling in love with him again, and after a make-or-break trip to Venice in June – only our second time away alone since having kids – Joel moved back in.
The kids were so happy because they could see we were happy again.
Divorce is definitely not on the cards for us. We’ve been with each other too long to throw it away over one stupid mistake.
But I haven’t put my wedding rings back on just yet, because I’m taking every day as it comes.
During all of this, my friend Nicola McLean offered good advice, including: “Don’t do anything hasty.”
She and Tom [Williams, her footballer husband, who cheated in 2014] are now happier than ever.
Some people have objected to my decision to try again, but every situation and relationship is different, and I do feel that this experience has taken our marriage to a more positive place.
I trust Joel more than ever now – he’s fought too hard to mess up again.
- Francine’s new children’s book, iPlay, co-written by Tim Stead (£7.99, Ainslie & Fishwick) is available now at Amazon.co.uk.
- Francine wears: top, trousers, both Warehousefashion.com; ring Sif Jakobs.
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