DATING coach Jamie Date wants people to have the best chance at finding love.
So, she revealed exactly what to do if you receive her least favorite piece of advice – the unoriginal line to “just be yourself” – before heading out on a first date.
“Telling someone to just be themselves as dating advice is like telling someone suffering from depression to snap out of it,” Jamie said in a video shared with her 13,000 TikTok followers.
“The intentions behind this line are great because displaying your uniqueness is crucial to stand out amongst the abundance that women feel during dating,” she noted.
However, Jamie said the bottom line is that the advice is “annoyingly vague and irritatingly unhelpful.”
So, she provided viewers with three ways to actually use the advice to their advantage.
“One: self-amusement.
“This is probably what I work on most with my clients,” she said.
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Jamie described it as the ability to feel empowered and confident without the need for someone else’s approval.
“It means to ‘act as if,’ as in your body language and tonality [are] displaying that without a doubt you are the coolest, funniest, hottest guy in the room, no questions asked.”
Her second tip revolved around “expressiveness.”
“I see this so often with men when they approach [a person].
“They fear that they are going to be showing too much interest, so they double down and show no expression at all,” Jamie explained.
She admitted it’s true that you don’t want to show too much interest too early on, but that doesn’t mean the right answer is to shut down your emotions.
“The more expressive you are with your face and your hands, the more captivating you’ll be, upping your attraction,” she stated.
Finally, Jamie wants to see people living their best lives with or without a partner.
“If I could change ‘Just be yourself’ to ‘Be your best self,’ I would.
“Take care of your body and mind,” she suggested.
“If you’re in a rut, climb your way out of it.
“Fight like hell to notice more good around you.
“Be someone that people wanna be around.”
In conclusion, Jamie encouraged people to ask themselves if they truly are displaying their best selves.
“‘Cause if not, well then, she’s not really rejecting you then,” she quipped.
Followers were thrilled to have the cliched advice deconstructed for them, with one admitting Jamie completely cleared up their uncertainty around the topic.
“I've always been confused on when to show interest and when [it is] too much.
“It's always sounded so contradictory to me,” the thankful viewer wrote.
“That last sentence…. Opened my eyes, opened my mind,” another commented.
A third person agreed with Jamie, writing: “Just be yourself is the worst advice ever given to men.”
If you think you’ve got the dreaded “Just be yourself” comment figured out, there are plenty of other dating tips and tricks shared by experts.
For instance, a matchmaker revealed questions to avoid on a first date and how to avoid awkward silence.
Plus, another relationship expert listed seven red flags you should be aware of.
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