I am a young woman and my brother shouts and screams at me when he’s angry

DEAR DEIDRE: MY brother shouts and screams at me when he’s angry. He criticises me and blames me for his mood. 

He ignores me when I tell him to stop and forces me to listen to his continuous rantings.

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He is blind to the fact his behaviour upsets me. If I try to walk away, he wants me to stay until he has finished shouting. It may be an hour until he has calmed down. And he never says sorry.

After he has got everything off his chest, he acts as if it’s never happened. 

Our dad taught him to bottle his emotions and that big boys don’t cry – I hate it.

I am a 21-year-old female and he is 23. 

DEIDRE SAYS: Your dad’s outdated attitude is hugely damaging to your brother. 

I am sending my support pack Standing Up For Yourself which explains how you can confront his behaviour calmly but firmly.

If you can get him in a quiet moment, give him my support pack Managing Anger which will help him understand how to deal with his anger issues. Ask him to stop and say you will walk away if he doesn’t. He will find there’s no reward in shouting at an empty room.

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