DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I told my boyfriend what I do for a living his eyes lit up.
Now I understand why . . . he’s obsessed with nurses.
He’s 28 and has a really high sex drive and demands that I dress up for him in my work outfit at least twice a week.
Sometimes I can’t even get in the door before he’s all over me.
Problem is when I’m not wearing my uniform he’s nowhere near as keen.
His nickname for me is “Nursey”, of course. I’m 26.
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I’ve noticed that he’s started liking some of my friends’ social media posts and last time we all went out together, I felt sure he was flirting with one of them.
Guess what? She’s a nurse too. I’m beginning to question if he’d taken any interest in me at all if I wasn’t in my profession.
We have been together for nearly a year and we do have a pretty good relationship.
He’s funny and very generous but still I cannot help but feel a little insecure that he’s much more interested in my uniform than me.
It was my birthday recently and he bought me a PVC nurse’s uniform.
It was very short and red. I’d asked for a new handbag but he said he thought we’d get more fun out of the uniform.
He’d already bought me one a few months earlier in a different colour.
I didn’t mind dressing up to begin with but whenever I suggest leaving the outfits in the cupboard he’s been less keen, sometimes he has even sulked — refusing to have sex at all.
He’s even accused me of being “boring in bed” but then made out he’s only joking.
If I can’t get on the same page as him, I’m afraid I’m going to lose him to one of my nurse friends.
So who is being unreasonable, him or me?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds as if your boyfriend’s kink is fast developing into a fetish.
Where a kink is something that turns you on, a fetish is something you need to achieve climax.
Kinks can become fetishes after a particularly intense pleasurable memory involving a specific object or experience.
There’s nothing wrong with a fetish as long as you are happy to partake.
However, that doesn’t mean you should keep quiet about any concerns. You’ll only end up resenting him or feeling repulsed.
At the moment your sexual relationship seems to be all about his pleasure.
Talk to him and explain how you are feeling.
Would he compromise, leaving outfits in the cupboard once in a while?
If not, you do need to think carefully about whether this man is for you.
My support pack Fetish Worries explains more.
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