DEAR DEIDRE: I LIVE with PGAD, or persistent genital arousal disorder, and my partner wants sex all the time. I just can’t deal with it.
I’m a woman of 45 and the feeling of constantly being aroused is excruciating.
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Many will assume it is a gift to feel like this but it’s painful and there’s no cure.
It rages out of control and although my partner, who is 52, has accompanied me to the appointments, he doesn’t accept that I’m not interested in sex. He grabs my breasts and pushes me against the wall.
I feel aroused 24 hours a day but sex for me isn’t fun. I struggle to orgasm and if I do, it’s very painful.
I love him but I can’t even hug him as he sees it as a come-on.
He says it hurts him as he badly wants me, but he has trouble keeping an erection, so I think: “Why are we putting each other through this?”
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DEIDRE SAYS: If he keeps trying to have a sexual relationship when it causes you pain, then I’m afraid he is not right for you.
And what is more worrying is that he is pushing you around and grabbing you sexually – this is abusive behaviour.
My support packs Abusive Partner and Standing Up For Yourself explain more.
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Your PGAD will be all-consuming. Talk to a friend, a counsellor, or consider joining a support group (there are private ones on Facebook). It is important you get regular support.
Also try a pain-easing Tens machine on your lower back to relieve symptoms.
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