DEAR DEIDRE: LAST summer, my wife lost her baby at 20 weeks. We have both been struggling to deal with the loss and I would dearly love to get her pregnant again.
I was devastated, but last week she told me she didn’t even think the baby was mine. Now I’m a complete mess.
I’ve been asking to have another child but she has refused.
The last time I asked, she blurted out that she’d had sex twice with the guy who comes to our house to valet her car.
I thought we had a strong marriage. I’m 37 and my wife is 35.
We have been together for 12 years and have two girls, aged eight and five. I love her and am trying to forgive.
But I cannot understand why she doesn’t want to try for another baby.
If we are to stay together, the last baby she should carry is mine. Am I wrong?
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DEIDRE SAYS: This infidelity must have been such a shock but, if you were having regular sex, you were likely to be the father.
Ask her what led to her straying and work out the changes needed. It may require compromises on both sides.
Losing a baby is an awful experience for any woman and a repeat may simply be too much to fear for her.
Counselling would help you both work through your issues.
Contact Relate (relate.org.uk) for support on how to move forward in your marriage.
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