Meghan Markle is so Meghan Markle in new philanthropic initiative

What’s this about the Duchess of Sussex making waves, again, with a video?

Relax. It’s not with Oprah.

The Duchess of Sussex joked with comedian Melissa McCarthy and hatched a philanthropic plan.Credit:

So, the Queen’s not ducking for cover?

Unlikely. It was a birthday announcement filmed from her Montecito home to celebrate her 40th birthday on August 4.

And?

Meghan – with the help of comedian Melissa McCarthy – launched a new initiative in which she’s invited “40 friends” to donate 40 minutes of their time to mentor a woman who’s “mobilising back into the workforce”, after millions around the world have been pushed out of it, largely due to the pandemic. “I think if we do it… we can create a ripple effect,” said the Duchess.

Which “friends”?

Adele, fashion designer Stella McCartney, Gloria Steinem, American poet laureate Amanda Gordon, the first lady of Canada, Sophie Gregoire Trudeau…

Cool cool cool, so, Meghan – along with her team of stylish feminist avengers – is boosting an entire generation of women while also polishing her own brand?

Oh, you noticed that she looked like a dishy philosophy teacher in a breezy all-white ensemble, flanked by a matching ivory Hermes throw and that stack of copies of her kids’ book, The Bench?

It all coordinated seamlessly with the stone fireplace and her rescue beagle, Guy, that I half expected Elton John to burst out of the fireplace in an explosion of confetti to liven the place up.

He would’ve appreciated her diamond necklaces in the shape of the constellations that match her kids’ birthdays from celebrity Californian jewellery Logan Hollowell. (Gemini for newborn Lilibet and Taurus for two-year-old Archie.)

Meanwhile the rest of us, when celebrating a milestone birthday…

Get triggered by our most horrifying memories of being 12 and wearing braces while standing alone at a dance? Which left us with lifelong anxiety about planning big birthdays and the fear that if we did no one would come, and we’d end up dying alone in a ditch?

Helping Meghan celebrate: Amanda Gorman, Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, and Stella McCartney.Credit:Getty Images

Something like that.

So what, no Harry this time?

Oh, no, he was there, juggling behind a window – in an outtake – and sporting Risky Business sunnies.

He is but one step away from Dad Jokes.

But Meghan has bigger fish to fry?

Ah, yes, Markle’s half-sister Samantha Markle, who took this birthday as an opportunity to blast the Duchess on a British television show for allegedly treating their father, Thomas Markle – from whom Meghan is estranged – and others like “dish rags”. “You had no right to treat him like this, or the royal family or anyone,” said Samantha, who released a memoir earlier this year titled The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister, and might not be the most impartial commentator.

Stars, they’re just like us.

Well. Meghan also did hold her own in the video with McCarthy, knocking back the comedian’s suggestion that the two get “matching tattoos” of their faces encircled by a rose wreath. “Well, you know, I already have something really similar across my back,” deadpanned the Duchess, after making fun of her own tendency to mark special occasions with wind-swept Annie Liebovitz-style photo shoots. (“Peaceful under a tree is me every day,” she said.)

Still, as epic birthday celebrations go, Markle’s no Kate Moss who marked her 40th with a £100,000 Glastonbury-themed party that lasted more than 100 hours and featured yurts, a Happy Birthday serenade by Noel Gallagher and – later – a Playboy photo shoot.

Maybe not. But she reportedly gave the world its first – ultra-grainy – glimpse of newborn Lilibet, in a glimpse-and-you’d-miss-it shot of the bundled-up baby and her father sitting in a frame on her desk.

Dear lord, no more lawsuits.

It appears Meghan’s moved on for now, and is firmly entrenched in inspiring people across the world to help women by performing “act[s] of service”, with her tagline, “Time is a gift.” (Like Melanie, from San Diego, who, according to the Duchess’ website, “helped a young woman with a disability find her ideal job”, and Emile, who will be “tutoring Afrikaans and English to girls at a local children’s home here in Cape Town”.)

It’s enough to make someone feel a tad inadequate. I might need some therapy.

Better start now. Beyonce and Serena Williams are both turning 40 next month.

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