‘I’m surprised so many men want you’: Plus-size singleton reveals loved ones advise her to ‘lock a guy down quickly’ because they’re shocked she gets so many dates and think she’s ‘lucky’ if a man wants her
- Mary Rose Madigan has spoken candidly about dating as a plus-size woman
- Australia-based writer, said people have dubbed her ‘lucky’ for getting matches
- Claims women are ‘triggered’ by her confidence because of their own standards
A woman has revealed the hardest part of dating while plus-size is the expectation from those closest to her that her choices will be limited because of her weight and therefore she should settle.
Mary Rose Madigan, who lives in Sydney, explained that there is a stigma surrounding plus-size women and dating, with people assuming they have greater difficulty finding a match than slimmer women.
However, she said she’s never had any problem finding a man, and her only issues is other people’s assumptions and expectations.
She said while discussing dating in her workplace a few years ago, it was never questioned why men were interested in the slim girls but her colleagues would make comments about her size.
The Mamamia writer claimed some women have been triggered by her confidence, saying: ‘I know it’s a tired trope but confidence is sexy, being yourself is always attractive and getting a date has nothing to do with your weight. I’m living, full- figured proof.’
Mary Rose Madigan (pictured), who lives in Australia, told Mamamia about the stigma she experienced from other women while dating because of her size
Mary (pictured) said women who’ve worked hard to achieve traditional beauty standards are understandably frustrated when those who don’t conform receive the same attention
Mary explained that she received the same amount of matches on dating apps as her slimmer, friends and is being actively pursued for more than just casual sex or late night texting.
When she found herself in a love triangle, co-workers and even a family member commented that they were surprised that she received ‘so much attention’ at her size.
She said friends were also shocked that she was able to date attractive men, with some saying she should ‘lock a guy down quickly because she was ‘lucky’ to have a man want her.
The writer admitted the comments from other women about her worth during the time she spent dating seemed ‘endless’ because of the expectation that plus-size people should feel ashamed.
Mary said: You are meant to be quiet and dowdy and lack confidence and if you just allow yourself to exist as a normal woman, well that makes other people uncomfortable.
Mary (pictured) said she received comments from co-workers, friends and family members who were surprised about the number of men she attracted
‘If you don’t constantly make self-deprecating jokes about yourself, or constantly prattle on about a diet you are trying, or how you wish men noticed you, then you aren’t playing along.’
Mary claims that despite the patriarchy creating ‘unrealistic beauty standards’, it’s women who are best at upholding them.
She said it’s understandable for women who’ve worked hard to achieve traditional standards of attractiveness to be frustrated when they see women who don’t conform achieve the same results in dating.
Having reflected on her own experience, Mary revealed that she’s learnt comments made about her say more about the women who’ve spent years dieting and never reaching an impossible standard, rather than really being about her.
She added that it’s not her job to change so that women who are uncomfortable with her confidence aren’t triggered.
Mary (pictured) said the comments other women make about her size says more about them than it does her
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