DEAR DEIDRE: THE man I planned a future with has been arrested for possession of indecent images. It’s put an end to our relationship.
We’re both 35. We met six years ago and had an affair until he got divorced two years ago.
After that we became a proper couple and talked about living together.
I knew he watched porn but had no idea he looked at images of children.
He put his inability to get an erection down to a motorbike accident but now I wonder if it was to do with his porn addiction.
When I heard the grim news, I felt numb and tried to ignore it.
My confidence is zero. How can I trust my own judgment, let alone another man? I didn’t suspect a thing.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Denial is part of addiction and by convincing you of a happy future together, he was avoiding his own reality.
It in no way excuses his criminal activity but people who are drawn to child pornography have often been victims of early abuse themselves.
It is natural to be cautious about making new relationships, but most people mean well.
Good friends won’t judge you, so share your feelings. You will learn to trust again.
NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I am torn between an ex who hurt me and my current boyfriend who mended my broken heart
READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Alexander feels guilty but he can't help paying the hooker another visit
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