Woman says her 'bird test' will show if a relationship will last

If your friends or romantic partner fail the bird test it could be time to re-evaluate the relationship: Here’s why 

  • Woman shares the test she uses to see if a relationship will last
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A woman has shared the unusual method she uses to determine whether a relationship is going to last. 

Alyssa, from the US, said she uses the ‘bird test’ to gauge if a relationship, romantic or platonic, will be successful and swears it ‘never fails’. 

She said if she’s spending time with a new friend or potential partner she will enthusiastically point out a bird nearby, or something seemingly insignificant, to see if they reciprocate her excitement. 

The seemingly simple trick is said to show a ‘bid for connection’ and is a good indicator of compatibility and how invested someone is in the relationship.    

‘Apparently, a lot of people don’t know what the bird test is,’ Alyssa said in an online video. 

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Alyssa (pictured), from the US, shared the ‘bird test’ she uses to determine whether a relationship will last or not

‘I’m sure there’s a better name for it but that’s wild to me because I live and die by the bird test because it never fails.’

Alyssa said she usually uses it as a litmus test at the beginning of romantic relationships but also for friendships and family members. 

‘Anyone that I meet, if they pass the bird test, I tell them so fast because this s*** is so fascinating,’ she said. 

Alyssa had met a girl who she started becoming friends with and decided to sneak in the bird test while they were having coffee one day.  

‘I’m looking out the window and I see a woodpecker in a tree and I’m like, ‘Holy s***, there’s a woodpecker in that tree.’ This girl whips around so fast, she’s like, ‘Where?’,’ she said. 

‘I kid you not for the next 10 minutes, the two of us stared out the Starbucks window just watching this woodpecker peck away at this tree while we Googled random facts about woodpeckers.’

Alyssa explained if you say something that could be deemed insignificant on a date or with a new friend and the person responds with ‘genuine curiosity’ it’s a good sign that the relationship will last. 

If she’s spending time with a new friend or potential partner she will enthusiastically point out a bird, or something seemingly insignificant, to see if they reciprocate her excitement

‘But if they blow you off, they don’t acknowledge you, and they’re just like, ‘Oh cool… a woodpecker.’ That’s a really bad sign,’ she said. 

‘I’m telling you, do this with your friends, do this with your family members. The bird test never fails.’

Alyssa’s clip was viewed a whopping 4.5million times with thousands of viewers loving the bird test and sharing their own versions. 

‘I’ve always done this except with cows and horses on a road trip. if I say ‘look, cows!’ and you don’t look at the cows you’re dead to me,’ one woman said. 

‘It’s anything you find fascinating. Your friend or partner should show interest because you are interested and therefore it becomes important to you,’ a second explained.  

Bird test

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‘My cat always passes the bird test,’ joked a third. 

Some were quick to point out the bird test is part of an established theory.  

‘It’s called a bid for connection. Talk about something random to see if they engage and reflect,’ someone wrote.  

‘This is called a ‘bid for connection’. It’s a theory by Gottman,’ another noted. 

American psychologists, professors and couples specialists Drs John and Julie Gottman coined the term ‘bid for connection’ which refers to ‘any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection’. 

According to the Gottman’s research, a person either turns toward or away from their significant other’s bids, which can be both verbal and non-verbal. 

While bids are sometimes missed, those who more often than not turn towards each other’s bid have a higher likelihood of stay together for longer. 

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