I've realised at the age of 82 that I married the wrong man

DEAR DEIDRE: IN a lightbulb moment it came to me, at long last, that my husband will never be the man I need.

I am 82 and he is 84. I feel very sad as I realise it is too late for me to do anything about it. I can’t change him.


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I have had a lot of time to think about my life.

My marriage has had some good parts, usually involving my children and grandchildren, but rarely my husband.

I was the eldest of six children and grew up to be very independent

My husband was the youngest of four. He was spoiled and never lifted a finger at home.

He isn’t an affectionate man. He never willingly held hands or kissed me in public.

I need support. I don’t want to be the clever one who pushes everything through.

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I want him to say, “Here love, let me do that,” but it never happens.

I guess I chose the wrong man.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Many couples get married without truly knowing what marriage is all about.

Do you regret marrying him because you had unrealistic expectations of marriage or of him?

You need to talk to him and try to get to the root of the problem. It is never too late for things to improve.

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You might not need to talk to a counsellor. Perhaps a wise and mature friend can help you untangle your relationship and your emotions.

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