Jennifer Lopez: ‘One of my biggest fears growing up was being alone’

Besides performing at the inauguration, Jennifer Lopez has been on a cringe-worthy moments tour the last week. Today, Jennifer launched the, “My Love Don’t Cost a Thing” challenge with this awkward post on Twitter and Instagram to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the song. JLo is also known for her very high profile (read very public) relationships and subsequent breakups and divorces. Who can forget when she married her back-up dancer Chris Judd? Or her extremely papped relationship with Ben Affleck? Or that blip of a situationship with Drake (did that relationship really happen) or when she dated that other backup dancer? Jennifer rarely lets the ink dries on the divorce papers or the headlines before she is in yet another relationship. I have always wondered why Jennifer spent the bulk of her life relationship hopping and she answers the question on the Youtube series Coach Conversations. Coach Conversations is a monthly series produced by accessories brand Coach. Jennifer is in the debut episode of the show where she talks about learning how to love herself, being ok with being alone, and observing her self talk. Below are a few excerpts from the episode via People. She spoke with author and purpose coach Jay Shetty.

The host noted that people don’t have classes for the heart or emotions as children, and Lopez said, “They should have a whole school for that.”

“I always say, why don’t they teach kids from a very young age to love themselves. Or a course, or something!” the mom to twins Maximillian and Emme, 12, added.

“I remember when I was going through therapy, in the beginning, kind of in my late 30s, and there was a lot of talk about loving yourself,” Lopez recalled.

The singer continued, “And I was like, ‘I love myself.’ But obviously, I was doing all these things like my personal relationships didn’t seem like I was loving myself.”

Lopez was previously married to Ojani Noa, Cris Judd and Marc Anthony, with whom she shares Maximillian and Emme. She also had several high-profile relationships with Diddy, Ben Affleck and more before she got engaged to Alex Rodriguez.

“I didn’t even understand the concept of [self-love],” she admitted. “It took time and it’s a journey and it’s still a journey for me.”

“And the most important thing is you have to listen to yourself, and the words that you tell yourself,” Lopez said. “What you say and what you think — and I tell this to my kids all the time — becomes your reality.”

“One of my biggest fears growing up was being alone,” she admitted. “I did get into relationships, sometimes the wrong ones for the wrong reasons because I didn’t like being alone.”

Lopez continued, “Now that [fear] is gone, and I’m okay on my own. That was a big journey for me.”

[From People]

Jenny from the Block is peak Leo energy. She is rabid about her image and being alone to her (like most Leos I know) is like being marooned on a deserted island away from her throng of fawning fans. I mean how else would she know that she is loved? I am glad that JenJen has gotten clarity around her fear of being alone because many of the men that she dated and married were not it. As much as I personally don’t like JLo because she is problematic AF, I always felt like she was settling in her relationships. I like how she said that there should be a course that teaches children to love themselves. I truly believe in this. I’ve come to discover most of our negative self talk is implanted in us when we are children by adults who are also wounded. I think healing our familial trauma must start if possible before bringing children into this world. At least we should try to heal our wounds while we are raising our children (not me I didn’t won’t children, I had a lot of sh*t to unpack) so that we don’t pass our wounds on to them. Whatever the case, it seems that Jenny’s children are quite grounded (and talented) and I am sure it is because of the personal work that JLo has put in over the years. I am also sure that by having a good relationship with Marc Anthony, JLo is leading by example and creating a stable environment for her children. I also like how JLo said that this year she hopes to empower and inspire people with her performances.

I’m glad Jenny from the Block is learning to love herself and being ok with being alone (it’s easy to say this when you have been booed-up for four years). Hopefully, her relationship with A-Rod works out so she won’t have to actually put that declaration to the test. I personally don’t want to see Jenny struggling to NOT be in a relationship if she and A-Rod were to breakup.

Here is the full interview:

A post shared by Jennifer Lopez (@jlo)

A post shared by Jennifer Lopez (@jlo)

There’s also this:

— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) January 25, 2021

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