Could YOU be a lesbian and not know it? TikTok users post checklists

Could YOU be a lesbian and not know it? TikTok trend sees users post checklists to help women identify if they REALLY like men or they’ve just ‘succumbed to compulsory heterosexuality’

  • TikTok users are sharing checklists to help women work out if they are lesbians
  • The lists include questions such as: ‘Am I only attracted to unattainable men?’ 
  • If you answer yes to these, then you are supposedly a lesbian or bisexual 

A viral TikTok trend claims to educate women who believe they are attracted to men but have only been socially conditioned into thinking they are heterosexual.   

Compulsory heterosexuality, colloquially known as ‘comphet’, is a term used to describe the belief that Western culture has coerced women into trying to view all connections between men and women as sexual or romantic.

The argument is all women have been conditioned from childhood to view any feelings they have towards men as attraction – with some authors even going so far as to say all females are actually lesbian by nature.

TikTok users are now sharing checklists to help women work out if they are bisexual or lesbian, posting clips with the hashtag ‘comphet’.

#foryoupage #lesbiansoftiktok #fypシ # #latetolesbian #comphet #tiktoklesbian #wlw #lgbt #queer

A viral TikTok trend claims to educate women who believe they are attracted to men but have only been socially conditioned into thinking they are heterosexual. Pictured, TikTok user Capri Campeau, who dubs herself the ‘fairy bi-mother’ is among those who have shared a list

Viewers are challenged to ask themselves a list of questions to see how they respond. 

The lists include questions such as: ‘Am I only attracted to celebrities or other unattainable men?’ and ‘Do you like guys until they like you back?’

Could YOU be affected by ‘compulsory heterosexuality’? Answer these questions to find out

It is claimed if you answer ‘yes’ to these questions then you are not actually attracted to men, but have simply been conditioned to think that you are. 

1. Are you only attracted to celebrities or other unattainable men? 

2. Do you like men until they like you back?

3. Have you kissed girl friends for ‘practice’?

4. Do you feel bored or nauseous when intimate with men? 

5. Do you enjoy hanging out with men until they flirt? 

If you answer yes to these, then you are supposedly a lesbian or bisexual, according to the users.

One video on the topic, by Marin-Elizabeth, which had more than 80,000 likes, claimed to reveal the ‘common signs of compulsory heterosexuality’.

These include: ‘Liking guys until they like you back, only liking fictional men and celebrities, kissing your girl friends when you were younger to “practise for guys” and feeling bored when intimate with guys.’

‘Feeling nauseous when intimate with guys and love hanging out with them until they flirt (even when you’re dating),’ were other signs mentioned. 

The term was coined by lesbian feminist Adrienne Rich in her 1980 essay ‘Compulsory Heterosexuality and the Lesbian Experience’, according to Cosmopolitan.

Rich argued that heterosexuality is a political institution in which women are oppressed by men.

The author suggested everyone – including women themselves – are naturally attracted to women, while attraction to men is learned.

But while usage of the term online continues to grow, it isn’t without controversy, with some suggesting the phrase has been used to ‘exclude and invalidate other queer women, particularly trans and bisexual women.’ 

According to Cosmopolitan, the popularity of the term compulsory heterosexuality is possibly due to the viral 30-page Google Doc about lesbianism which went viral last year. 

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TikTok users including Marin-Elizabeth, 22, believed to be from the US, have been sharing their lists of questions women need to ask themselves to determine if they’re not heterosexual

Angeli Luz, 21, created the document when questioning her own sexuality before anonymously publishing a public link to it in January 2018. 

The 30-page text explores how societal conditioning can lead lesbians to have conflicting feelings and attraction toward men. 

‘I realised I loved women when I was a teenager, but I never quite knew if my attraction for men was real or a social construct I took in as a facet of my identity,’ Luz told Vice.

‘I started researching compulsory heterosexuality and found that many lesbians had the same experiences I did. I created the document as a tool of self-reflection for myself and others.’ 

It begins with a section explaining compulsory heterosexuality – and Luz later notes that ‘many lesbians STILL struggle with compulsory heterosexuality even when they know they don’t want men.’  

According to Cosmopolitan, the popularity of the term compulsory heterosexuality is possibly due to the viral 30-page Google Doc about lesbianism which went viral last year (pictured) 

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