Ryan-Mark Parsons’ Piers Morgan replacements – Jeremy Kyle to Roland Rat

Who’s Piers Morgan again?

No, of course we haven’t forgotten (irrelevance is his worst nightmare), but I’m eager to see his replacement on Good Morning Britain.

Only a few days ago, the feisty broadcaster pictured several large storage boxes inside his old dressing room and an ominous cutout of Susanna Reid (he won’t be taking her home).

Now, ITV bosses are thought to be scouting the nation for a suitable replacement, because if Ben Shephard continues any longer they might need to rename the show "Goodnight Britain"…

Despite my skepticism, some of the suggestions have been pretty credible, but I also have my own contenders I’d like to throw into the ring.

BEST – Jeremy Kyle

It’s been a while since we’ve seen the snappy presenter on our screens; his eponymous talk show involved constant shouting matches between couples that share two teeth between two mouths, lie detector and DNA tests, and a perfunctory audience — iconic.

Kyle has presented as a guest on GMB several times, and I think he’d be the perfect person to invigorate viewers in the morning, get hits for social media, and the dramatic headlines we all crave.

WORST – Richard Madeley

Ergh, this man makes me cringe. He’s second-hand embarrassment on legs.

Far too corny for breakfast TV, maybe an evening talk show, but his campy performance is too much for eyes in the early hours.

Have you seen the compilation of his so-called "best" moments? If you haven’t, avoid it.

He’s had a few stints on GMB, all of which I despised, and has a long history of presenting This Morning from 1988 to 2001… Somehow.

WORST – Ben Shephard

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Ben Shephard. Number one, he’s hot. Number two, he’s friendly.

However, he’s boring.

I met him in 2020 when I debated at Television Centre on GMB, he was very pleasant and I recorded a message for his son.

It was all amicable.

However, we need the fury of Piers back in the studio.

No vanilla wet wipes that are reminiscent of BBC Breakfast – get someone bold, loud, and not afraid to offend.

That’s not Ben Shephard and therefore he’s going in one of Piers’ storage boxes.

BEST – Kay Burley

Yes! Why not have another woman?

I’d love to see the rivalry between Kay and Susanna, two powerful broadcasters fighting for airtime… that’s the drama we need in the morning.

Kay is one of the founding presenters of Sky News since 1988, and she’s not afraid to hold back.

Rest assured, when it comes to slimy ministers and moaning wet wipes, she’s bound to shut them all down.

Regardless, I doubt there’d be chemistry between her and Susanna, so for that reason, it’s not going to happen.

BEST – Judge Rob Rinder

Rob Rinder is not my number one choice, but he’s okay.

Again, not in the mood for his typical Judge Rinder antics as soon as I wake up.

Nevertheless, you can be assured his takedowns of frustrating guests would be monumentally entertaining, plus the on-screen relationship with Susanna would work.

They’d bounce off each other – they are best friends, after all.

WORST – Alex Beresford

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The weatherman who pushed Piers over the edge. That’s his brand.

I find him totally insufferable and think he tries to pick arguments for his own progression on the show.

Smart? Possibly. Do I like him? Not a chance.

He reminds me of someone who does a job to get a foot in the door, but doesn’t really enjoy it.

Predicting the wind tomorrow doesn’t seem cool enough for him, hence why he does everything to stick his oar into every debate and make a name for himself.

I’m not interested in seeing him again, but don’t let me rain on his parade… (no pun intended).

BEST – Roland Rat

In the words of Piers, “Not such a bad idea” and I agree.

The rat and Matt Hancock would get along very well, and I’m sure the grilling would be far more cordial knowing two vermin have so much in common.

And while it would be hilarious seeing Susanna interact with a puppet every morning, this is one I sadly can't see happening either.

WORST – Victoria Derbyshire

Bosses at ITV are said to be very keen to poach Victoria from BBC, especially after the journalist made an impression on ITV’s flagship reality show I’m A Celeb last year.

Nonetheless, I don’t appreciate her dull Beeb filter.

You can’t shake it off – take one look at Susanna Reid – the colourless BBC personality transpires in every show and they still think they’re bound to impartiality rules.

One is enough, no more, please!

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