Female best friends spill on living in a 'platonic life partnership'

Meet the female best friends, 24, who are in a ‘PLATONIC life partnership’: Childhood ‘soulmates’ reveal they live together and are ‘building a future’ like a married couple – but insist they never have sex and can date other people

  • April Lee and Renee Wong, both 24, became best friends at a young age, and right away, they felt like their ‘connection was special’
  • The ladies have been close for more than a decade now – taking a ‘front row seat’ for each other’s ‘pivotal coming-of-age moments’
  • Last year, they decided that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together – as best friends, not as lovers – and became ‘platonic life partners’
  • That means they are not romantically involved and do not have sex – but said they are committed to ‘building a future’ together
  • They share a studio apartment in LA – but sleep in separate beds – and while both can date other people, their ‘deep, unconditional love’ will always come first
  • According to April, sharing a life with someone while not having to worry about keeping their ‘romantic connection alive’ is a huge ‘relief’
  • She said she believes that the main reason they have been able to stay together is because they ‘don’t have the added burden of making each other orgasm’ 

Two female best friends, who describe each other as ‘soulmates,’ have revealed what it’s like to live in a ‘platonic life partnership’ – which sees them both dating other people while living together like a married couple.

April Lee and Renee Wong, both 24 – who are originally from Singapore but now live together in Los Angeles, California – became best friends at a young age, and right away, they felt like their ‘connection was special.’

The ladies have been close for more than a decade now – taking a ‘front row seat’ for each other’s ‘pivotal coming-of-age moments,’ including ‘first boyfriends, early career moves, and all the growing pains of becoming young adults.’

Last year, they decided that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together – as best friends, not as lovers – and became ‘platonic life partners.’

That means they are not romantically involved and do not have sex – but said they are committed to ‘building a future’ together since they ‘consistently help each other become the best version of themselves.’

They currently share a studio apartment in LA – but sleep in separate beds – and while both can date other people, they said their ‘deep, unconditional love’ will always come first. 

Two female best friends revealed what it’s like to live in a ‘platonic life partnership’ – which sees them both dating other people while living together like a married couple

Strong bond: April Lexi Lee (right) and Renee Wong (left), both 24, became best friends at a young age, and right away, they felt like their ‘connection was special’

Friends forever: Last year, they decided that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together – as best friends, not as lovers – and became ‘platonic life partners’ 

According to April, sharing a life with someone while not having to worry about keeping their ‘romantic connection alive’ is a huge ‘relief.’ 

She also said she believes that one of the main reasons they have been able to stay together for so long is because they ‘don’t have the added burden of making each other orgasm.’  

‘We’ve romanticized the notion that one person could be our everything: our roommate, our financial and emotional support, our co-parenting partner, our best friend – and on top of all of this, they have to also be our lifelong lover. It just doesn’t seem realistic,’ April explained during a recent essay written for Refinery29.

After growing up side-by-side, April and Renee’s friendship was put to the test after high school – when April moved all the way around the world from Singapore to LA so she could attend film school. 

However, despite a 16-hour time difference and thousands of miles between them, the ladies stayed close. And when the COVID-19 pandemic hit in 2020, it made them realize how much they really needed each other.

‘As Renee and I spent our lockdown days together on FaceTime, we realized we enjoyed spending the mundane moments together,’ April recalled.

‘On our calls, Renee and I were never just “catching up.” Instead, we actively helped each other heal, learn, and grow.

‘We saw how our own individual growths fed into each other’s, despite choosing such drastically different paths.

‘And we saw how the separate roads we’d taken were now ready to intertwine and grow tenfold. We could suddenly see a future together. More than that, we wanted it – now.’

After graduating from a university in Singapore, Renee got a job at a digital marketing agency – which had an office in LA.

For a year, she worked from Singapore while the two ladies contemplated what the next step would be for them – before agreeing to move in together in September 2021.

‘We took that year to delve into practical discussions about finances, boundaries, and potential conflicts that could arise from knowing each other so intimately, but also never having lived together. I call this our negotiation stage,’ April shared. 

After the move – it strengthened their relationship even more, and made them realize that they wanted to be ‘partners’ for the long-haul.

‘Our connection had been in the driver’s seat for the majority of our relationship. We knew our partnership worked in theory, but it was only when Renee moved to LA in September 2021 that we began to witness the more logistical aspects of our partnership come together organically,’ said April.

‘We were considerate and cooperative roommates, we were supportive financial partners, and we fueled each other to achieve our respective goals faster and with more fun along the way.’

Then, she came across an online article about women in the 1800s who had no romantic interested in one another, but married so they could continue to pursue their careers without being held down by the constraints of a relationship – and April was inspired. 

‘This concept resonated with Renee and me immediately. We both had aspirations and selfish desires we’d yet to fulfill, and to factor in a romantic partner in our life decisions would mean compromising on those dreams,’ she explained.

‘This alternate approach to partnership shattered our preconceived notions that one, we were supposed to live the rest of our lives with a spouse or two, just be alone instead.

‘It raised the ceiling on the future we were envisioning together, revealing to us a more attractive third option: building a life with your best friend.

‘While Renee and I knew we wanted to be together for both the immediate and distant future, in a way, [the term platonic life partners] felt more formal and intentional than the “best friend” label seems to denote, we didn’t have a label for what we were quite yet.

She also said she believes that the main reason they have been able to stay together for so long is because they ‘don’t have the added burden of making each other orgasm’

Speaking out: April and Renee often share details of their relationship to TikTok, where they’ve wracked up more than 48,000 followers


In one video, they answered common questions, including if they’re lesbians – which they answered no – and if they’re allowed to date other people – which they answered yes

‘We had both a deep platonic love and commitment to each other, and also engaged in level-headed discourse about major life decisions to make sure they aligned.

‘While I’m not familiar with how romantic couples decide to get married, I imagine it’s similar to our decision to be in a platonic life partnership.

‘When someone consistently helps you become the best version of yourself, and your future feels brighter and bolder with them, why would you not want them by your side forever?’

According to April, their relationship mainly strives on their ability to help each become better versions of themselves.

She added: ‘We consider our love conditional. The rule is: “I’ll keep loving you as long as you keep loving yourself.”

‘And we’ve given each other permission to leave if either of us has given up on ourselves or is no longer serving a purpose in the other’s life, apart from providing comfortable company. 

‘I just keep finding more things to love about [Renee] – and to love about myself when I’m with her.

‘We work hard to keep each other accountable and believe that boundaries are a huge part of keeping any relationship healthy.

‘We over-communicate, negotiate, and compromise. We acknowledge that we want what is best for the other person, even if that isn’t each other.’

April is currently dating a man from New York (pictured), and said Renee has been nothing but supportive. She said the man ‘accepts’ their situation and ‘gets along’ well with Renee

April and Renee often share details of their relationship to TikTok, where they’ve wracked up more than 48,000 followers.

In one video, they answered a few common questions that they get, including if they’re lesbians – which they answered no – and if they’re allowed to date other people – which they answered yes.

‘What if one of you falls in love and leaves?’ read another question, to which they answered, ‘That’s a risk in any relationship (even marriage).’

‘So… Just best friends then?’ a third question said.

‘Best friends making life decisions together,’ they responded in the TikTok, which has been viewed more than five million times.

They hope that being open about their situation will show others that there is an ‘alternative roadmap for relationships.’

‘This experience has made me believe that the majority of people, myself included, have been navigating interpersonal relationships using the same outdated roadmap,’ April said. 

April is currently dating a man from New York – whose name has been left out due to privacy reasons – and said Renee has been nothing but supportive. She also claimed that the man ‘accepts’ their situation and ‘gets along’ well with Renee. 

She gushed: ‘He gets along with Renee and accepts that she will always come first.

‘He sees how my partnership with her has allowed me to love him better. He doesn’t have to be my everything, he just has to show up.

‘And because of my platonic life partnership with Renee, I’m able to enjoy him for who he is now, and not for what he could be to me in the future.’

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